OK, everyone either thinks their state totally kicks butt, or they can’t wait to move. But where to go? Here are the Top 5 places you should definitely NOT go.
5. South Caro
lina. Again, a state that truly believes the 1861-65 “Act of Northern Aggression” thing ruined the world forever has to be on this list. The Confederate flag, a symbol of hatred and oppression for 29 percent of its population (that figure is from the 2000 Census), still flies joyously over the statehouse. Nothing to see here except Myrtle Beach and Charleston, and you’ll never get to the former because of all the traffic on US 17.
lina. Again, a state that truly believes the 1861-65 “Act of Northern Aggression” thing ruined the world forever has to be on this list. The Confederate flag, a symbol of hatred and oppression for 29 percent of its population (that figure is from the 2000 Census), still flies joyously over the statehouse. Nothing to see here except Myrtle Beach and Charleston, and you’ll never get to the former because of all the traffic on US 17.4. N
ew Jersey. Look, I’m from New York and I’m legally obligated to put down the Garden State whenever possible. It smells something like a hobo's taint in much of the state, it’s leaders are so crooked Chicago politicians study them for advice, and the fact they produced Springsteen, Sinatra and Bon Jovi only gets you so many points. Stone washed jeans and mullets alone make up for the few great musicians from "Joysey."
ew Jersey. Look, I’m from New York and I’m legally obligated to put down the Garden State whenever possible. It smells something like a hobo's taint in much of the state, it’s leaders are so crooked Chicago politicians study them for advice, and the fact they produced Springsteen, Sinatra and Bon Jovi only gets you so many points. Stone washed jeans and mullets alone make up for the few great musicians from "Joysey."3. Wy
oming. They gave us Dick Cheney and took away Matthew Shepard. Enough said.
oming. They gave us Dick Cheney and took away Matthew Shepard. Enough said.2. Mississippi. There are 4,843 jokes I could make about Mississippi, and believe me, they’re all true. But I’ll just say t
hat there’s a reason many of the most disgraceful racial crimes in American history happened there, and why Alabama is so grateful to have Mississippi around: Someone can be 50th in things and it doesn’t always have to be ‘Bama.
hat there’s a reason many of the most disgraceful racial crimes in American history happened there, and why Alabama is so grateful to have Mississippi around: Someone can be 50th in things and it doesn’t always have to be ‘Bama.1. North Dakota. It’s cold, it’s rural, there’s not much tourism to speak of, and did I mention it’s really freakin’ cold? Sorry, when there are more animals than people in a state, that’s a good sign to stay away. South Dakota’s not exactly, you know, Paris, but at least they’ve got Mount Rushmore and the Mitchell Corn Palace (trust me, look it up. It’s awesome).
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