Top 5 Worst Alcoholic Beverages

Our in-house alcoholic breaks down the Top 5 Worst Alcoholic Beverages. There are so many to choose from, but these are our Top 5.

-- By Pappa Bear

5. Anything with Patrone. It's the most pompous of all tequila. If you drink this, you're a horse's ass. It's still tequila and it still tastes like a dead Mexican's ass.

4. Schnapps.

It doesn't matter what kind it is, it's sugar, it's alcohol, and you're a pussy if you put this past your lips. Some of the winners from this category are Golschlagger, Puckers, and the high schooler's favorite, Peach Schnapps. If you drink anything called Puckers, you deserve to be shot.

3. Long Island Ice Tea.

It's great for someone who can handle five shots in one drink, but for the majority, it's your death. If you wake up in the morning with the taste of death and roofies is in your mouth, you earned it if you were drinking Long Island ice tea.

2. Pabst Blue Ribbon.

If you drink this, you are a hipster douche bag, you're clothes are too tight, you wear plastic, black framed glasses, and you have never actually heard Iron Maiden, despite wearing ther T-shit. I hate you, and Eddie is going to kill you.

1. Gin and juice.

Follow me on this. Thanks to Snoop Dog, every white boy who thought he was black in the late '90's drank Tanqueray and anything they could get it mixed with (namely Hawaiian Punch). If this was you, you're a worthless wanna-be ghetto sack of bootleg CDs who lives with your mom, wears a triple X Trailblazers jerseys and calls your friends "Nukka." There's no reason for you to still be on this earth, and there's no reason for anyone to drink Tanqueray. It sucks, and so do you.