This writer has some issues, namely with Eagles frontman, drummer, guitar player Don Henley. We all hate the Eagles, but this guy takes it to a whole new level. Enjoy.
-- By Pappa Bear
5. Strap him in a chair and make him listen to "Boys of Summer" on a constant loop while I force-feed him creamed corn.
I want to dump lighter fluid on his crotch and make him explain why he wrote the lyric "Dead Head sticker on a Cadilac." Every time he says "I don't know" I either put my cigarette out on his forehead or light his crotch on fire.
4. Follow him around in a non-descript vehicle, and every time "Hotel California" is played on the radio, I shoot him in the nuts with a bee bee gun.
"Hotel California" is one of the most over-played, over-appreciated, over-rated, horrible, horrible song played by a drummer who isn't really a drummer, and a crappy guitar player and singer at that.
3. Find out where he lives and constantly shit on his doorstep. Hey, if I gotta deal with his shitty music, he has to deal with my shit. 
2. Drop about 100 pounds (because I'm fat), seduce him into being my lover and and that he's gay, and that the Eagles need to go on tour. While on tour, have Perez Hilton hide in the closet and take pictures on Don Henley giving me a reach-around, thereby destroying his family and everything he has built personaly.
1. Eight guys, one Don Henley.
Once again, Don Henley is tied to a chair. The jumper cables go from the battery to his nippes, and there are 8 men with HIV circling him, and on top of Don's head is a champagn glass. All eight men jerk off into the glass. Mini Me from Austin Powers fame, removes the glass from Don's head, Gary Coleman (needing the paycheck) force feeds him the infected man goo while we play home videos of me having sex with his wife on a massive screen TV as "Hotel California" blairs in the background.
Hmm... seems pretty apparent what drove this list. You get off on pain and these are your sexual fantasies starring Don Henley. The first photo is certainly an interesting choice... shows a good amount of chest. Is that how you picture him when you masturbate?
ReplyDeleteActually... don't answer that. Some things are best kept in the privacy of your bedroom, or bathroom, whichever is the case here. This list was one of them.
Of course this comment was all in good fun - hope you have a sense of humor and all that 'cause I surely wouldn't want you to be offended.
Read more to me as if somebody's sick and tired of Frey's attempts at extortion. Obviously...I could be wrong.
ReplyDeleteHello. No worries, sure I am interested in what you are speaking of? Can you give me some details... is there some information pertaining to this issue that is being protected at the moment? Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHello. I assumed when you commented about having private messages, you would be a bit more detailed and less intentionally vague? Care to explain your behavior? Thanks.
ReplyDeleteHello. Indeed, perhaps some things are better left undiscovered. I was merely searching for some insight and opinions on the issue. Perhaps it can't be represented fairly without making presumptions. I have removed the video from youtube. If I have offended someone, I apologize.
ReplyDeleteRegards,
Oscar